The Idiot Box

self awareness trauma May 08, 2024


 Why do you watch TV?

For entertainment?

Because you’re bored?

I watch it because it makes me feel safe.

As a child, I felt controlled. Then, one Christmas, Santa bought me a black and white TV where you sometimes had to watch stuff with your hand holding the ariel in a specific direction or else lose the picture. 

I remember visiting the ice cream man to buy a pack of prawn cocktail crisps. I would crunch them into thousands of tiny pieces and eat them while watching Dempsey & Makepeace in my room.

It was my room.

My space.

I had control.

Recently, I realised I was watching TV late at night and then scrambling to get ready in the morning because I had many things to do. I was also reading an incredible book, but I would choose a banal TV show over the book for some reason. 

There was resistance when I spoke to my Parts about making a change. 

They felt SELF was trying to control them for wanting to read a book instead of watching TV.

Thanks to my work, my Parts trust SELF, so after some persuasion, they agreed to a change of nightly routine. I would watch a coaching video, read my book afterwards, and sleep earlier. When I did this, my Parts felt safe enough for this to become a new habit. 

Watching TV is a trauma response for me.

As a youngster, my body created an unconscious attachment to TV as my safe space whenever I felt controlled by my environment and people. This use of TV became my habitual unconscious way of being. But as you age and create a family, watching the nightly idiot box creates problems. You aren’t present, become disconnected, and use it as a numbing agent. 

I’m not saying you don’t watch TV.

I’m saying be aware of how much and why you watch it.

Much love and STRIVE on!


PS: A donor kindly offers one of you a one-year STRIVE subscription valued at £1,188. I'm not saying it's free because while you don't have to pay anything, you do have to be consistent, show up and do the work needed to live a SELF-led life. If you are interested in applying for this position, email [email protected], and we'll set up a suitability call. 

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